Why are Good Experiences Sometimes Bad? – Guided Exercise for Understanding the Paradox

Hey Folks! I am sure that each one of you has experienced a bad event, situation or circumstance at one point or another in your life. I sure have and I know what amount of confusion, turmoil and gloom I felt then. When caught up in a vortex that brings you down or drains your energy into negativity, hopelessness and despondency it is hard to merely understand what is actually going on and not to speak of the possibility for you to discover the right path out of this situation.tux-158547_640

For instance, let us assume that you have made a certain choice in your life, expecting that this choice would deliver prosperity, thriving and freedom in your life – both personal and professional. Like for example, you have chosen to pursue a certain business or career path, expecting the best results. After hard work and trying, finally the promised event happened: you got the job or you created your business.

And what could be more exhilarating or fulfilling than the manifestation of this long-aspiring event?

It seems as if you finally made it and accomplished your dream! It has manifested! But shortly thereafter, you experience things you never knew before.

  • What about the long-working hours you did not consider?
  • A colleague at work who drives you crazy!
  • Less time to spend with your family, spouse or kids.
  • Unable to pursue your biological rhythm.
  • Lack of knowledge or understanding for some professional topics.

And on and on goes the list…

Therefore, out of this good event, circumstance or adventure, emerged some qualities which influence your life now in the unfavorable when not adverse sense.

What do you do in this situation?

banner-1044109_640Guided Exercise:

First of all: Become aware. Become alert and pay attention to what is happening to you and around you.

Second thing: Define the good event. Verbally illustrate the good event and all of your good, promising and inspiring predictions and then write these down on a piece of paper. Next to this column, write down your actual experience and notice how some good assumptions did come to life, did manifest and how some good assumptions took a different course or even the opposite course.

Third thing: Draw a conclusion: Out of each good event, both good and bad things develop.

Ask Yourself:

  1. “How am I able to go about the bad experiences and turn them into more favorable possibilities?”
  2. “What is in here for me?”
  3. “Where am I supposed to look now?”
  4. “What did I learn? What was my key take-away from this crisis or entanglement?”

I would love to hear your comments below. Please feel free to share your own evidence, familiarity and acquaintance that got you exposed to this paradox. The best discussion will be found in the comment thread below, so go on and share your experience.

Much Love and Many Blessings,

Ginger Spark

18 Comments

  1. Jamie

    Sometimes when you work hard to get to a certain point in your life and you arrive there, the reality is totally different to what you thought it would be.
    I agree that at that time you must step back and look for positives. At first they might be hard to see, but they will be there.
    At this point in time, me and my family are far from where we thought we would be as well as being stuck in an uncomfortable environment, but the longer we are here and they more we accept what is the more life becomes bearable.
    Cheers Jamie

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Dear James, maybe this could be the opprotunity that you and your family needed in order to bring you close together and open up new insights, new horizons for you. I am sure everyone was able to grow as a person and appreciate some things that might have been taken for granted before. Lots of Love, Ginger.

      Reply
      1. Morrie

        Thanky Thanky for all this good inoanmotifr!

        Reply
        1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

          And a Thank you to you, Morrie for visiting my website and leaving me your comment. Feel free to share! LoL, Ginger

          Reply
  2. Alyssa

    Hi Ginger,
    I think I understand what you are talking about. For example, my husband and I dreamed of buying a boat big enough for us to live on. We looked for a year, worried about prices, where to find one, where to keep it, etc. We finally found a 1985 Heritage Trawler that felt like “home” a state away, bought it and brought it back to a marina near us. Life was grand! We plan on moving aboard in a year. And then…I discovered a few unexpected things out of the good. I worry about everything: water leaking into the boat, leaky fuel drums, Are the lines tight enough to keep the boat moving too far from the dock but loose enough to accommodate a 3 foot tidal swing? Did we turn everything off before we left the boat? Snow storms, hurricanes, tornadoes. And taking the boat out is fun, but bringing it back is nerve wracking because docking is really hard! So, if I had to find some takeaways and silver linings, they would be this…knowledge is power and I get to become a subject matter expert in something very new. It will keep my mind nimble and expand my horizons. We can develop checklists for peace-of-mind and safety. And, I’m going to learn how to captain a boat! It’s all good 🙂
    Alyssa

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Hi Alyssa, exactly! Faching the “worries” coming out of the “good” only makes us stronger and this is exactly what we needed in order to learn and evolve beyond. Lots of Love, Ginger

      Reply
  3. Ian

    Hi Ginger,
    I love this post! I totally agree that it is all about how we react to unfavorable circumstances that makes the difference in our lives. We can use the opportunity to learn and take away something positive which helps us to adapt and change course as appropriate. The guided exercise is really helpful.
    Thanks for sharing this! Keep up the good work.

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Thank you so much for your comment! Love, Ginger

      Reply
      1. Lyndee

        Hi, possibly i’m being a bit off subject here, but I was browsing your internet site and it looks stnamlutiig. I’m writing a weblog and trying to make it look neat, but everytime I touch it I mess something up. Did you style the blog your self? Could a person with little encounter do it, and add updates without having messing it up? Anyways, great details on here, very informative.

        Reply
        1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

          Hi Lyndee, thank you for coming to my website and leaving your comment. Yes, I did style and write the blog myself. I am glad you found this article useful. I invite you to come back to my website more often and please feel free to share with your friends, LoL, Ginger.

          Reply
  4. Bethany

    Hi Ginger: You’ve described my experiences very well. Chronically working hard to get somewhere that I don’t appreciate once I get there. I always thought it was just me and my personality flaws but it’s nice to find out that I’m not unique in this at all. Thank you for this reassuring post.

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Hi Bethany, thank you so much for your comment. Do come back to my website again! Lots of Love, Ginger

      Reply
  5. Joon

    I think after had been achieved some long term goals in my life and felt emptiness and burnt out feelings after my achievements, I discovered what I was doing wrong.

    On the surface, everything had been done correctly and amazingly. But then, internally nothing was being done correctly or amazingly.

    Eventually, I had to work on my “internal” self to give more positivity within me to keep myself centered.

    Whether everything outside of you is turning out perfectly or not, if your inner self is not balanced and sorted out, then I think you’ll run into all sorts of problems.

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      I agree with you, Joon. Your internal balance should be your focus. LoL, Ginger

      Reply
  6. lilywong

    This is an eye-opening topic? Yes, we chase fervently after certain goals, and sometimes upon reaching them, we didn’t realize that there are some ‘cons’ to it. This just shows that nothing is ever completely good or bad. The guided exercise is really useful to help shift to a more positive perception. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Hi Lily, thank you for your constructive comment. Feel free to visit my website again and engage in the discussion. LoL, Ginger

      Reply
  7. lilywong

    Recently I went through some unpleasant situations with my clients that left me feeling very unhappy – the feeling is still lingering. I tried the guided exercise and it did help to relieve some of the negativity I have been feeling. I like the part where we have the power to turn it around – as nothing is truly bad or good. Love and blessings to you too, Ginger Spark!

    Reply
    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      This is exactly it, Lily. We have the power to turn things around: bad things into good things. We begin by asking ourselves what we have learned from this bad experience and then we begin to see that it was “not all that bad.” As long as we are ready and open to learn, we are on our way to our personal growth. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and leaving your constructive comment. LoL, Ginger

      Reply

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