Two Things To Let Go Of and Move Beyond Your Conditioning

Hi There, it´s Ginger Spark!

I talked to a friend the other day and she told me that she felt somehow confused and unrespected.

She told me that her boyfriend had forgotten to give her flowers for Valentine´s day. All her girl-friends were already bragging about their gifts on facebook and here she was, with nothing to share!

  1. Confused -. should she react and tell her boyfriend how she felt or act as if everything was well.
  2. Unrespected – she never expected anything bit, a single flower could have done the job, and she would have felt wonderful, respected and cherished by her boyfriend.

Even though her relationship with her boyfriend could be taken as an example of a successful romance, i could see how this little act of forgetfulness bothered her and threw her in a dilemma.

It made me realize that we all face such confusing moments when bad feelings arise, not only in our romantic relationships or marriage, but also in our career, business as well as in our own health and well-being.

But basically it comes down to this:

First, we have been conditioned throughout our lives and have adopted certain beliefs, values and concepts imposed to us by our families, our social circles, our societies and our culture in general. For example: we need to buy something or get something in order to be approved of, seen as right or respected.

Second, we strongly believe that time is an objective concept, existing independent of ourselves, and we tend to label days and give them a certain meaning. For example: Valentine´s day was a trigger for my friend that on this day, at this time, her boyfriend must think of her and give her a present.

But what if, there is no space and time, what if everything is part of infinity, and time is a psychological concept? An opportunity to give and receive can be at any time, not only on Valentine´s day or any other day that has a name in our calendar.

And what if the things that we were taught could be challenged? What if this truth is only one possible truth related to a certain issue? What if there is an infinite field of beliefs and possibilities, and an infinite amount of different perspectives that can be taken when dealing with any issue?

So, after hearing my friend spill out the pain in her confused and unrespected heart, I offered her my perspective and my point of view about this specific event.

I told her that she should definitely tell her boyfriend about how she felt, because after all this only proves that their relationship is truly special, that there is openness, trust and communication between the two of them.

I also told her that she is not less worthy if she did not get anything from her boyfriend on this day. I challenged her to think back on other  “common” days when her boyfriend showed attention, appreciation and was giving toward her. But she did not brag about it nor did she ask her friends whether they had received anything that day.

In this sense, I invite you to write your comments in the comment section below about your view-points on this topic. How would you have cheered up my friend if she told you her story and asked for your advice?

I’m excited to hear your perspective on this because, I am sure you will come up with original points of view. I would love to learn from you and gain an overview of your insights.

Much Love and Many Blessings,

Ginger Spark

p.s. check out my PHARMACY FOR MENTAL HEALING…which I created especially for creative people like you!


  1. Liliana

    I think you did a very good job comforting her. Talking to her boyfriend will probably solve her dilemma because by his reaction she can draw a similar conclusion – that he can get her flowers any day, and bragging on fb for show is not always the best measure of how one’s life should be compared. If her boyfriend overreacted and yelled or got mad, then she has a bigger fish to fry, but if he calmly apologized, she should probably receive her Valentine’s flowers any day now!

    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

      Thank you for your insights, Liliana! I appreciate your engagement and I am sure this will further help my friend. Much Love, Ginger


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    1. Ginger Spark (Post author)

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