Hi there, let us continue on the journey of exploring the intentions when something bad or unexpected hits us and we do not know how to react properly. Properly is the key! All of these negative emotions are automatically being triggered and experienced within ourselves and it is very hard to find our way out. Each one of has created his or her very own maze where we get lost with our feelings and do not know how to move ahead or come out.
We talked about first: Becoming Aware, second: Abandoning Immediate Action and third: Allowing Diversity. But it is so hard to actually implement all that has been said. It all sounds so right and yet there is a part of us that confesses that it is all to difficult to practice in our everyday lives. And indeed it is. Here lies the challenge!
Why is this so difficult?
Basically because these feelings and emotions happen in our limbic brain, or put in everyday terminology, our emotional brain. This is the mid brain, about the size of our fist. This limbic brain has been with human kind for the past 100.000.000 years and this brain can be found in mammals as well. That is why we can be correct in saying that mammals have emotions and do extend care, compassion, love, and playfulness to their youngsters and peers.
Why is it so hard for us humans to acknowledge an emotion, know that this is a negative emotion and yet changing this is almost impossible?
We are caught up in our own internal truths, created by our rational thinking brain, that we see no way to change these toxic feelings. And even though we know that they destroy our health and well-being, we cling to them just as well.
Let us come back now to our topic and explore our fourth intention on this journey. We will put the pieces of the puzzle in my next blog all together. For now, we will discuss the fourth intention:
Accept without Judgment
Something triggered you and made you feel angry, for example. You automatically want to turn to your angry mode, firmly anchored in your limbic brain. After all, this is what you know all too well. This is something you learned very early and had the opportunity to practice this in your everyday life up until now. This is how you were taught, conditioned and approved to behave and feel. And you know must be the right way to react.
Yes, indeed. React is the word. Because our reactions happen automatically. They are our habits. We have repeated them over and over again that now we do not even have to involve our conscious thinking.
But here is the trick! This automated reaction is causing us all the problems. What good does it bring if we spill all our feelings and emotions on our partner at that very same moment when we are swirling in the circle of negativity, anger, rage, frustration, and so goes the list. The answer is: it brings no good what so ever! No good? And we still do it? And we cannot get away from it?
Question is do we have the intention to begin to respond to a situation instead react to a situation.
If you are ready and willing to change your habitual way of responding, then the good news is that there is a way. You need to reprogram your feelings by consciously involving your rational brain. And it is quite simple. Here are the steps:
Abandon Immediate Action
And now here it comes: ACCEPT WITHOUT JUDGMENT
Accepting without judgment teaches us that we accept the situation as it appears. We acknowledge it and acknowledge the bad feelings that it had triggered within us.
Now comes the real challenge: Resist the urge to spill out your anger and express your judgment!
So what do you do? You simply STOP and move away from the situation. If you cannot do that, you must mentally tell yourself that you will get to this matter tomorrow and that this is the best that you can do. If you want to be constructive and you want to give the right answer to the opposite person, than you must either mentally or physically disengage with the situation.
And this is what you say to yourself mentally:
” I accept but do not give up.”
“I hold my own strength”
” I do not abandon myself and I do not abandon others, for I want to share my good intentions with them.”
“I respect and honor myself and I respect and honor others.”
Sit in your own space, either physically or mentally until the right response surfaces and then go out and say your opinion about the situation. Accepting does not mean you have to agree.
- Accepting only means that you respond to the event instead of reacting with your instinctive emotions.
- Accepting means that you are ready to let go of judgment and blame.
- Accepting means that you are on the path toward finding constructive solutions to many problems and challenges.
Let me know in the comment section below how you practiced acceptance in your life. Give me a real-life example. Feel free to share this blog with your friends, family and colleagues, so that we can also hear their point of view.
Until next blog, stay tuned and take care!