I just figured out how useful the emotion of anger really is! It simply dawned on me today and I was able to realize something very important about myself that laid hidden behind my anger. I realized that hidden behind my anger is an unexpressed desire on my side to live my life with more peace and calmness, more time for myself and focused on positive feelings.
Tip Number One: Remain Still and Observe the Anger. Step back from the situation as soon as possible.
The important thing to remember when anger comes within your body is to let the anger go through you. Observe and feel its energy for several seconds and make it your intention to release it. Simply live through this experience of anger and do not take any “corrective” action during the phase of its presence in your body.
Tip Number Two: Forgive Yourself First and do it Fast!
After you have regained your composure, a phase of resentment usually follows. We feel resentment toward the person who made us feel angry. We run thoughts in our head telling us why our anger was justified. We blame and judge the person or the situation, making us experience the anger again. When we invoke the anger by remembering and analyzing the incident, we are actually getting into the energy of anger once again. We cling to the negativity and engage the neurons in our brain to think negative, angry thoughts that produce toxic chemicals in our body, like adrenalin and cortisol, The person who wronged us does not feel this anger at all and is not affected by this toxicity. The only one who has a negative impact from the anger and resentment is the person experiencing it!
That is why you need to become aware that you are holding resentment. You need to forgive yourself for clinging on to anger and you need to forgive the other person as well. Forgiving means letting go of the negativity. Forgiving does not mean that you accept and approve what happened. It just means that you are aware of the situation and you are ready to take the next step, and that is to view the occasion from another perspective. Doing so, allows you to learn from your anger and resentment. By nurturing a personal growth attitude, you craft appropriate strategies so that similar situations will not be experienced in the future.
Tip Number Three: If you get angry, do not judge, blame and complain. Instead, write down the negative thoughts and learn from them.
Do not go about telling everyone how and why you got angry, seeking justification for your anger. This is not going to solve your problem and will not get you rid of the resentment and exasperation. It will only add fuel to the story that you are telling yourself and others. And the more you talk about it, the more that it is reinforced and the more that you hold resentment. So, it is very important to let go of the resentment and sit down to think. You might even write down your thoughts about the whole thing. Make an analysis and see if you can go through following points:
Ask yourself following questions:
- Could it be that I might be exaggerating?
- Are things really that bad and serious?
- What could be another way of looking at this?
- What do I need to learn and understand here?
- Where do I need to grow?
Tip Number Four: The anger is only a mirror of yourself which you need to get rid of!
When you experience anger, it is not the person or the situation that made you angry. It is exactly the opposite: it is your experience and interpretation of the situation that makes you angry. Anger arises as a result of your belief system. If you believe something should be such and such, everything that contradicts and does not comply to that can make you angry. On the other hand, if you have limiting beliefs about your life and yourself, you might be prone to anger as well. If for example, you believe that you are not worthy and deserving, meeting another person who talks about his or her achievements, accomplishments, positivity and happiness can drive you crazy! See how important is for you to realize this! Becoming aware of these facts can allow you to focus your attention inward and look at the baggage you might be carrying in your mind and soul. This will then allow you to take corrective action within your personality and will ensure progress in your life.
Tip Number Five: Focus on The Solution
When you focus on the solution to the situation that made you angry, you vibrate at a higher frequency. The thoughts that you think when you are solution-oriented are creative thoughts and can make your life easier. Focusing on the solution does not necessarily mean that you need to solve every minute detail of the newly created situation. What it means is that you need to adopt a general attitude of believing that a relief, a solution, and a happy end is possible. Ensure yourself that you will gain insight and control over your inner state of being which will allow you to take advantage of all inner resources, knowledge and abilities that you possess.Focusing on possible positive outcomes automatically draws these possibilities toward you.
I would love to find out how you deal with anger. What triggers your anger and how do you manage it? What part of this blog did you find useful to apply in your life?
Post your comments below and I will get back to you!
Lots of Love and Heartfelt Blessings,