Five Step Process for Understanding and Managing Your Emotions

Have you ever been caught up in a pattern of thoughts that contain only negativity and blur your mind to the point of total confusion?

The interesting thing is that the more you want to let go of these thoughts and the more you want to find peace and happiness, these negative thoughts which generate negative feelings seem to persist. Negative emotions come as a result of these negative thinking patterns. Here is a list of some negative emotions: fear, anger, resentment, anxiety and worry.girl-1548865_640

Emotions are energies moving throughout our body and they are healthy in this respect. The thing is, we need to focus on the positive emotions such as happiness, excitement, zest, passion and zeal.

Positive Emotions

Happiness is a good emotion. To be happy means that you feel at peace with yourself and with your fellow human beings. You automatically want to put a smile on your face and you feel like hugging and embracing the whole world. You see people in your surrounding and in the world as fellow human beings who go through pretty much the same challenges as you do. Because of this, you have the feeling that you understand all this and that you are simply happy to be sharing this journey with them.

Excitement, Zeal, Zest and Passion for life are examples of good emotions.

Being connected and close to others is good emotion .We are created for connection. To feel empathy for others and especially for people who are hurting can give tremendous satisfaction and a sense of purpose. Sharing joy with other people  is a true source of happiness.

girl-with-flowers-1374221_640 (1)When you rest, when you are relaxed and at ease, you allow yourself to go with the flow of life. There is nothing to fix, nothing to do better or accomplish more. You simply do your part and then sit back and relax and let the universe do its part.

If you cannot fix the problem yourself trust that a higher force is working in your favor and this force will fix the problem for you. Relax and enjoy the day. With this you allow the divine to work on the situation. My point is, do not overwork! Look for balance instead.

Compassion means to have a soft heart toward others. You simply feel how they feel and you do all within your power to contribute to their well-being. Being soft-hearted and feeling empathy are beautiful positive emotions.

Empathy means that you appreciate the other person with a sense of warmth and you feel magnetically drawn to his being.

Here are three principles that will help you focus on positive emotions:

  1. Adopt an extraordinary attitude that life is a gift and that every day is very precious. Imagine as if today were the last day!
  2. Make a decision to be happy! This means, anticipate joy and good things to happen at any moment.
  3. Have an unshakable faith that your feelings will follow your decision to be happy. Be perseverant.

These three principles lie in the realm of the divine. If we work on ourselves and strive to achieve an extraordinary attitude, commit to being happy, and be tenacious in managing our emotions we will reach the state of living in positivity.

Where does the negativity come from?

The reality we live in today, however, offers so many opportunities for people to feel stressed, worried and anxious. All sorts of negative stories are told over and over again, over the media and between people in social circles. What we do not realize is that these are all stories, and the more we hear about them, the more we talk about them, and the more real that they become.

The underlying cause that makes us experience stress, worry and anxiety are not the stories themselves, but the underlying fear which runs in our subconscious minds.worried-girl-413690_640

The more that we think fearful thoughts, the more that we experience fearful emotions. This promotes a set of fearful beliefs to come to the surface, influencing our behavior in the negative sense.

Experiencing fear is a very personal matter. No matter what the outer circumstances are, there are some people who seem to be automatically infected by all the negativity that is going on outside, whereas others (unfortunately still a minority) stay unaffected by the outer occurrences. Furthermore, not only do they not experience fear, but they feel happy, balanced, and in harmony with their life.

For those who find it difficult to experience happiness and joy, here are five tips on how to feel safer and secure in today´s world and how to overcome the personal fear.

Face Your Fears

Look inside and ask yourself what you are afraid of. Be honest with yourself. Nothing is going to happen to you if you formulate your fear and face it. The more that you are able to give content and voice to this fear, the clearer it will become. You might realize that this fear has an irrational character. This means that it is not truly based on real facts, but is only a projection of your mind.

Stay Away from Stories that Promote Angst

This means avoid watching the negative news on television and avoid talking about negative events. Being exposed to these negative stories only draws you away from your state of balance and well-being and fills your mind with toxic information.

Hang around Positive and Successful People

Positive people are those who focus on the positive things in life and stay present in the now. Each moment carries both: potential for positive and negative. Giving priority to positive news promotes positive thoughts and constructive behavior. Positive and successful people find fulfillment in their lives and it is likely that this will impact you as well when you find yourself in their vicinity.

Focus on Your Personal Health and Well-Being

By doing this, you are automatically taking control over your state of being and you radiate positivity in your surroundings. If everyone would do this simple thing, there would be a much smaller platform for spreading bad news.

Connect to Your Inner Wisdom

Let your inner guide show you the way out of fear. There is so much light and energy within each and every one of us. We need to be aware of this and we need to let this light come out and illuminate our dark spots full of fear. All we really need is the intention, willpower, and desire to make this connection.

Three Phases to Clear Your Mind from Toxic Emotions

Let us go together through the three phases that lead the way toward clearing your mind from toxic emotions and reaching a state of joy and equanimity.file9391239897034

Phase One begins with becoming aware and accepting your negative emotions. You need to feel the power of these negative emotions and how they move throughout your body and how they fill your head to the point of making you go crazy! Visualize how these negative emotions impact your state of being and become aware of the thoughts that go through your head during this turmoil. If it helps you, please write down the negative thoughts you are having and what fears come to mind. Understand and say to yourself that these negative thoughts and emotions are doing you a great deal of harm and they are not helping you to find a creative solution to your problem.

Phase Two is an invitation to shift your energy by engaging in a totally opposite activity or doing something that is completely unrelated to your problem and the root cause of your negativity. This might include the following activities: going out for a walk, listening to music that makes you feel good, or simply doing something that has no correlation to your problem. This energy shift will bring you in the present moment and you will begin to experience the nature of your true self. Your true self is a state of being where there is nothing else but love, joy, giggles, and positivity. The results or the qualities of your true nature might not come very fast and even if they do, they might not last for very long because of the tendency to go back to your habitual way of negative thinking. Nevertheless, setting this intention and actively participating in the creation of your new state of being will surely lead you on the right path toward elimination of your negativity.

Phase Three begins when you begin asking yourself following questions:

  • What would someone who loves me do in this situation?
  • How would this someone who means me well advise me?
  • What alternatives, actionable strategies and possible scenarios open up for me?
  • What is one good thing that came out of this negative experience?
  • What did I learn and what is my takeaway for the future?

Self-Reflection Exercise

Now write down the answers to these questions in your journal. You will notice that these answers provide a new model for viewing the negative situation. With the help of this new model, you can see that there is a choice that can be made on your part that will correct the negative event, action or feelings and lead you toward positive, creative and productive experiences.

Let us look closely at another negative emotion such as anger. I just figured out how useful the emotion of anger really is! It simply dawned on me today and I was able to realize something very important about myself that lay hidden behind my anger. I realized that hidden behind my anger is an unexpressed desire on my side to live my life with more peace and calmnessmore time for myself and focused on positive feelings.

Tip Number One:

Remain Still and Observe the Anger. Step back from the situation as soon as possible.

The important thing to remember when anger comes within your body is to let the anger go through youObserve and feel its energy for several seconds and make it your intention to release it. Simply live through this experience of anger and do not take any “corrective” action during the phase of its presence in your body.

Tip Number Two:

Forgive Yourself First and do it fast!

After you have regained your composure, a phase of resentment usually follows. We feel resentment toward the person who made us feel angry. We run thoughts in our head telling us why our anger was justified. We blame and judge the person or the situation, making us experience the anger again. When we invoke the anger by remembering and analyzing the incident, we are actually getting into the energy of anger once again. We cling to the negativity and engage the neurons in our brain to think negative, angry thoughts that produce toxic chemicals in our body, like adrenalin and cortisol, The person who wronged us does not feel this anger at all and is not affected by this toxicity. The only one who has a negative impact from the anger and resentment is the person experiencing it!

That is why you need to become aware that you are holding resentment. You need to forgive yourself for clinging on to anger and you need to forgive the other person as well.

Forgiving means letting go of the negativity.

Forgiving does not mean that you accept and approve what happened. It just means that you are aware of the situation and you are ready to take the next step, and that is to view the occasion from another perspective. Doing so, allows you to learn from your anger and resentment. By nurturing a personal growth attitude, you craft appropriate strategies so that similar situations will not be experienced in the future.

Tip Number Three:

If you get angry, do not judge, blame and complain. Instead, write down the negative thoughts and learn from them.

Do not go about telling everyone how and why you got angry, seeking justification for your anger. This is not going to solve your problem and will not get you rid of the resentment and exasperation. It will only add fuel to the story that you are telling yourself and others. And the more you talk about it, the more that it is reinforced and the more that you hold resentment. So, it is very important to let go of the resentment and sit down to think.

You might even write down your thoughts about the whole thing. Make an analysis and see if you can go through following points:

Ask yourself following questions:

  1. Could it be that I might be exaggerating?
  2. Are things really that bad and serious?
  3. What could be another way of looking at this?
  4. What do I need to learn and understand here?
  5. Where do I need to grow?

Tip Number Four:

The anger is only a mirror of yourself which you need to get rid of!

When you experience anger, it is not the person or the situation that made you angry. It is exactly the opposite: it is your experience and interpretation of the situation that makes you angry. Anger arises as a result of your belief system. If you believe something should be such and such, everything that contradicts and does not comply to that can make you angry. On the other hand, if you have limiting beliefs about your life and yourself, you might be prone to anger as well. If for example, you believe that you are not worthy and deserving, meeting another person who talks about his or her achievements, accomplishments, positivity and happiness can drive you crazy! See how important is for you to realize this! Becoming aware of these facts can allow you to focus your attention inward and look at the baggage you might be carrying in your mind and soul. This will then allow you to take corrective action within your personality and will ensure progress in your life.

Tip Number Five:

Focus on the Solution

When you focus on the solution to the situation that made you angry, you vibrate at a higher frequency. The thoughts that you think when you are solution-oriented are creative thoughts and can make your life easier. Focusing on the solution does not necessarily mean that you need to solve every minute detail of the newly created situation. What it means is that you need to adopt a general attitude of believing that a relief, a solution, and a happy end is possible. Ensure yourself that you will gain insight and control over your inner state of being which will allow you to take advantage of all inner resources, knowledge, and abilities that you possess. Focusing on possible positive outcomes automatically draws these possibilities toward you.

Why is it so hard for many of us ordinary people to live in peace?

Modern life happens so fast! There are so much information and the changes around us happen at a great speed, that all we see is the blur! So how on earth do we get the chance to even think about happiness when so many tasks, duties, and roles stand on the list?

The answer is if you truly want to enjoy life, you need to

  • Control your feelings and do not let your feelings control you, and
  • Take only as much responsibility as you can handle.

After all, that is what life is all about! That we experience joy and that we share this joy with others.


So here is a challenge for you:

  1. Observe your negative thoughts which are triggered in some circumstances or events. Feel their energy and live through them.
  2. Let me know which activity helped you physically move away from the negative thinking pattern.
  3. What did you learn from this negativity?
  4. What are two-three possible solutions to the situation that triggers your negativity?



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