Spiritual growth means that we stretch ourselves every day and do the right thing even though it might feel wrong. E.g. Someone wronged us and we are so angry that we want to tell this person off. We just want to confront him and tell him how wrong he is in doing this or how hurtful his act was toward us. However, anyone who has made it his intention to grow spiritually immediately realizes how ridiculous and pointless this type of behavior actually is.
In this blog, I want to share with you several principles about gaining freedom from destructive emotions by applying the act of forgiveness.
Here are some tips on how to live free from the torment of bitterness, hostility, and resentment:
1. Look at each and every person in his whole: all the different roles he plays in life and all the places where he is needed, welcomed and respected. When someone hurts you or wrongs you, bless him and speak well of him.Blessing means speaking well of. Refuse to speak evil words about him that emphasize and point out the bad thing he did toward you. Always try to understand that this person might not have the capacity to do anything better than this, and it might not be his fault. We all have expectations about how people should act and how they should treat us. As soon as our expectations are not met, this triggers emotions of anger, resentment, disappointment, blame and condemnation. All pretty good reasons not to forgive and to hold on and further analyze someone´s bad behavior or conduct.Make sure your expectations are realistic and do give people the freedom to be themselves.
2. Do not talk bad about people, despite the fact that they wronged you. Refrain from the intention to do harm to them, to condemn or judge them. You go beyond on what was done wrong. “Why on earth would you want to do this when someone hurt you so bad?”,you might ask. Because you have set the intention to grow spiritually and in order to prove to yourself that you truly are on this path, you need to start looking at the bigger picture. Realize that we are all spiritual beings or consciousness who is experiencing itself in all forms, shapes, deeds, and manifestations.
3. Learn to manage your emotions. This means that you need to start with your decision first. Therefore, make a decision first and then allow your emotions to harmonize. Emotions are very undisciplined. When left unmanaged, they can take control of our lives and make a pretty darn mess there! Emotions cannot really be trusted. Just because you feel right about something, does not automatically mean that it is the right thing to do. For e.g. You feel you need to criticize your son who failed in school,by telling him how disappointed you are. You want to remind him that you had pointed that out since the beginning of the year, that if he does not study he will fail. However, the right thing to do might be exactly the opposite: let him learn the lesson himself and hope that he will understand that he needs to study more in order to accomplish success.
4. Trust in yourself that you can conquer difficult challenges. Have the faith that you have this capacity. When you feel resentment and hate toward someone, for whatever just the reason, you need to understand that these feelings of not forgiving resemble you holding a bottle of poison within yourself and sipping from this poison on a regular basis. How harmful and damaging to your own health! I am sure you do not want to harm yourself but sorry to say, by hating and resenting you are doing exactly that.
5. Forgiveness might not be an easy thing to do but it is surely possible. It might even happen quickly and naturally, only if you allow yourself to forgive. Forgiveness is free and we receive forgiveness for our wrongdoings every day. We are forgiven so we can also forgive. It is only when you forgive your wrong-doers that you are truly free. Do not build a jail around yourself by yourself!.
I invite you to use your days wisely and do not be bitter. Life is too precious to be wasted.
And now like always, I invite you to engage in the discussion in the comment thread below.
- Tell me what is one thing that you simply cannot forgive or what would it take for you to forgive someone.
- Do let me know why forgiveness might be a hard thing to do.
Thank you for reading and I look forward to your comments.
Much Love and Many Blessings,